In the last post we spoke about preparing for your change. And in this post we broke down how you prepare yourself and the once affected by your change on the realisation of your dream life.
Here we go into detail about the different areas of change that you can have and what these changes could be and how to deal with them.
How to prepare all areas of you?
By now you have worked out what your dream is and what changes come with this dream. In the last post we discussed how to work out what preparation is required for the realisation of your dream to be a success.
You should have your dream written down with the change it is going to make and who it is going to affect in all areas of your life.
Now the question, how to prepare and deal with these areas?
The steps explained
I will explain the steps with my experience as an example as it covers almost all areas where change could be possible. My changes were in my daily routine, my family and friends – time and my work life. We will go through each area and discuss how to deal with it.
Start with you
The easiest way to start is to start with the areas that only affect yourself. as you are the one making the change, you don’t need a lot of sit down chats about why you are doing this. The only thing you have to do is see the changes, understand the outcome of them and be aware on what to do.
Your daily routine only affects you. It is what you do every day, what time you get up, need to be somewhere etc.
By following the steps you have now written down your current daily routine, the way it will be after the change and now we need a plan to deal with the situation.
You are moving house. This means that your daily routine will highly likely change in a lot of places. Your drive to work will be shorter, however the drive to visit your friends has increased. When planning your day-to-day plan, keep this in mind. It can also affect the time you need to clean, as you have moved to a bigger house.
My change also included things as, the drive to work will be on the other side of the road, I need to prepare myself for some driving lessons.
And when I was packing to move to the other side of the world, I needed to make choices on the items that I moved – Bye CD’s Hello Spotify!
You are going to start to get up early to train for a marathon. This means that your daily routine changes on the time you get up and most likely the time you go to bed. This means you need to change your alarm, have your run clothes ready and make sure you keep your nights free after 10.00pm to get your required sleep.
From your daily routine we are moving on to all the other areas of your life. And all the other areas usually involve other people than yourself. This means that telling them about your change and what affect it will have on them might cause discussion or raise questions.
Keep in mind per area how much you value their opinion, remember why you are making this change and respect that they might need a bit more time to process the change than you do. It is your decision and they will respect that if you give them the right information, talk about it and make them feel included.
The next logical area to discuss is family. My family is very important to me and therefore I want to include them in my change as soon as I can. Once I’ve worked out what changes the realisation of my dream is going to have on me, I started to focus on them. And a side note about family. They are here to support you, even though it might not feel like that at the start.
I remember telling my parents and sister I was moving to the other side of the world and it wasn’t the greatest news ever and they had to get used to this idea, which is completely understandable. But they came around and are my biggest fans now and are so happy for me I got to do this.
Depending on where you are moving, you moving house can affect your family. If you are moving to a different city, they might need to take more time to get to you for visits. If you move to a different country, visits will be scheduled months in advance and day-to-day communication will be via phone (Yes for FaceTime!). By being open and talking about this your family will understand the impact and will be able to prepare themselves for the change that is coming.
While you are training for a marathon, there might be a few things that your family will notice. And talking to them about this doesn’t mean you have to ask them for permission to do it. It is purely so they know why you are making certain choices, like not staying out on the weekends because you are training or why you stopped drinking alcohol, because your body needs to be in a healthy shape. They will understand and support you if they know why you are doing it (This one is for my dad who did this and I am so proud I could cry – and Yes we FaceTimed as he crossed the finish line)
After family comes friends it my line of telling my dream and why I want to do this. And friends are amazing, they are your supporters and they chose to hang out with you every single time. They don’t have to be your friend, they want to be. I learnt that good friends want what is best for you, even though it might not be what they want. They will make it work and they will be there for you. And if they don’t, are they really the friends you deserve?
Moving away can be hard on your friendship. As a result, same as with your family, your visits might need to be planned more, will be less frequently and require a bit more effort, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work. By talking to your friends, explaining the situation and managing expectations you will make it work. FaceTime will be your best friend, your phone now has a worldclock in case you need to work out time difference and if it is only a 2 hour car trip, the ones who care for you will make it work.
And for yourself, you need to make a bit more effort. You can’t be there on their birthdays? Send a card or a balloon to their home. They are going through a rough time? Schedule to catch up with them or go and stay the weekend.
This example comes really close to the family one, however this might effect your friends a bit more depending on your current routine. If you normally stay out every night, go for dinner, the movies and are never in bed before midnight, this might be a big change. Once again, by managing expectations you friends will support you. And after the marathon is over, all of you can have a big night to celebrate!
Last but not least is work life. There are 2 reasons why this is last. One is because you probably only decide to quit your job when all the other components on why you do this are settled. You only have this conversation if you’ve found a new job or if you’ve finalised your move. The second reason is that this is a business conversation. There is no emotional attachment to this, you can legally quit your job within X weeks (depending on your contract) and that’s it. You don’t have to tell them why, manage their feelings etc. You need to notify them and that’s it.
If your move causes you to quit your job it requires you to sit down with your manager and tell him in the time frame that is set in your contract. If it simply a change of address, you let HR know and that’s it.
This change has nothing to do with work, besides the fact that you might need a day off on the day of the marathon. Make sure you realise this too. Some changes only affect you, so don’t make a big deal about what work is going to think about you training for a marathon. It has nothing to do with them.
In short, if you look at all the examples above you can take these tips and prepare yourself and others for your dream life
Is it affecting them? If so, in what way? How can I manage their expectations? What change am I going to experience?
By answering these and keeping in mind that everyone has a different opinion that doesn’t necessarily have to agree with yours, this will be a success.