Have you ever thought ‘I want you to like me?’ The desire and need for someone to enjoy your company?
I want you to like me is a thought that has imprisoned me for some time
The need for other people to like you can be a very difficult thought to have. Once I realised what it was doing, a whole new world opened up to me
‘I want you to like me’
By thinking about wanting people to like you, you tend to adjust your behaviour. You are not yourself and you try to be the version of yourself that you think they will prefer. I noticed that 2 things happen when you do this
- you are not yourself
- you are trying to please others and therefore constantly thinking about what they think of you
You end up creating this spiral that once you think someone doesn’t like you, everything they do gets translated in your brain as proof, ‘see they did that because they don’t like me’ ‘they said that, see they don’t like me’.
What our brain does
You are filtering others behaviour to suit your thoughts. For example, when they give you a friendly good morning, you will change it into a negative by changing the story. You tell yourself how they don’t like you because they only said good morning and didn’t ask you how you were. You add any content t support your existing thought, no matter if this it true or not.
Our brain can play tricks on us in a way that we completely change our reality. Therefore it is important to question your thoughts. Is it really true what you are telling yourself?
By becoming aware of your thoughts you can act on them and after time even change them.
So when you think about people not liking you and wanting to fit in, take a step back and look at how they are actually treating you in reality. Not how your brain translates this for you.
If they spend time with you, greet you and are aware of you, it is very possible that they enjoy your company. Otherwise they wouldn’t make the effort towards you.
Be kinder to yourself and to others, we’ve got nothing to prove and all we want is a friend.
And you might have one without your realising.
Turn off that brain, turn on your heart and say hello to new faces